Then and Now . . .

Kids are playing a video game and brownies are in the oven - so I thought I'd sit down and have a little blog-time.

I've spent alot of time today thinking about how far Tony and I have come from when we started almost 10 years ago. When I write that number, it sure doesn't seem like alot - but it FEELS like so much more. I remember the hair dresser asking me how long I had known Tony on the morning of our wedding. I said, "We've only known each other for about a year . . . but I can hardly remember what it was like without him." (And believe me - there was a whole lot of "stuff" before Tony that I was glad to "forget" :0) The fact that I can remember that conversation all these years later - wow! - but truly, it's a strange thing. And yet, as much as I feel like it's always been this way for us, sometimes I feel like it's the first time I'm looking in his eyes and it feels like when we first fell in love. (sappy, I know . . . sorry :0)

My parents will be married 45 years in a few months. It amazes me. It's too hard to imagine where Tony and I will be in another 35 years or what our children will be doing - or if we'll have grandchildren?! Yikes!

We've hummed and haughed and stewed and stuffed about going on our trip to Philadelphia. We really thought that we might bring the kids. As much as we'd love to do that, Tony and I are looking forward to taking our first trip together - just the two of us! No kidding! We've had a night here or a day there . . . but we've never gone anywhere without the kids for this long or this far. I made this video today of a bunch of family photos for the kids with music and everything - "guilt" gift . . . a 'just in case anything happens to us' gift - I can be a little dark sometimes :0) Flash Back: Right before my surgery, this summer, I went into this full-on house cleaning mode - top to bottom! Even the basement got it . . . Tony was astounded :0) It's definately NOT my normal behaviour - I told him, "but if I die and you have to a have a funeral, I don't want anyone to see a dirty house! :0) All the women in my family will understand this and laugh - maybe it's an italian thing?

Anyway . . . back to the topic . . . Tony and I have never been as close as we are today - and I've come to realize that we will continue to grow closer every day as long as our FOCUS continues to be the health and well-being of our relationship and our family. There have been times when this has NOT been the case - for both of us. It's during those times that we start seeing the "greener grass over there". I'm so thankful for God's grace at these times. It's God who gives us a greater perspective of our lives and shows us a better way . . . He opens our eyes to see our self-centredness and unwillingness to sacrifice our own way for His. Because of Him, we can forgive each other, love each other and commit to our marriage - come what may . . .

So, I'm turning 33 in a couple of weeks and can't help but think that this is the year I got a Jeep "Liberty" and I'm going to see the Statue of "Liberty" . . . weird, hey? One of the things I've always loved most about Tony is the way he has always given me "the liberty" to be myself - whoever that may be at any given moment :0) And I have learned to do the same for him. All my crazy ups and downs and round and rounds - he has loved me, respected me and stuck with me. I have come to see that being steadfast in your ways and being a little more sensitive to other's feelings can be a good thing :0) I have learned that an adventure can sometimes be about "the long run" . . . and not just a short term 'fix'. And I think he's delighted in all my impuslive, fun-loving ways - he's hiked mountain trails, paddled about on a VERY deep and scary lake (right, hun?) and opened himself up to things he would never have thought he could do because I pushed (just a little :0) Then there were the numerous times Tony encouraged me to follow my dreams and did whatever he needed to do to take care of our little, daily, life-details so that I could focus on finishing the task at hand. What more could a girl ask for?! And with God's grace, mercy and good will . . . we've come this far. Who'd have thought?! Not us, that's for sure . . .

I think, in all of this, the best part is that our children have come to see that a marriage is a delicate balance that takes a willingess to support one another, respect for one another as individuals, commitment to one another as husband and wife, encouragement for one another to follow our dreams, a sense of humour to soften life's little bumps and the belief that NO MATTER WHAT, we only want to be with each other in this life.

Thanks for your love, Tony - you're one of a kind . . . I'm glad God thought this would be a good idea.