Christ in the PASSOVER

The Passover celebration of the Jewish faith is of significant importance to Christians. Our family has enjoyed and celebrated Passover (the Last Supper that Jesus celebrated) for a few years now. It has enriched our faith and given a deeper meaning to Easter for each of us in our personal walk with the Lord.

Here is a video from the organization "Jews for Jesus" explaining the Seder meal and Passover celebration for Christians. I hope you enjoy it!

Dying to Self and The Cycle of Grief!

"And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice - the kind He will accept. When you think of what He has done for you, is this too much to ask? Don't copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is." Romans 12:1-2

As I was driving home this morning after dropping the kids off at school - I began to think of 'letting go' and what that really means. I am to cling to the Lord and stand firm in my faith; seek the Lord and pursue excellence (not perfection); pray for wisdom and acknowledge the Lord in all I do and many other Holy Spirit directed, God given disciplines and instructions ... yet, it's all about MY relationship with the Lord. There are other areas (many other areas - in fact - ALL of the other areas: relationships - family and friends, finances, addictions, plans for my own future and for my children, ministry, work, etc. etc. ) that I must 'let go' of and trust that God is in control and that He knows best and desires His best for me and everyone else.

When my eyes are taken off of the Lord, I tend to try and protect my own little self-made kingdom - with disastrous results. It occurred to me this morning that my reactions during these moments are really quite similar to The Grief Cycle that people will experience when a loved one is lost - except in this case, the loved one is my 'old' self! However, when we have an intimate relationship with Father, Son and Holy Spirit, The Grief Cycle is turned upside down and emptied out - then, we are filled up with HIM and life reflects the change in our hearts and minds! We reflect His glory and live NEW lives. This is such a timely revelation with EASTER approaching so quickly. Here's what I mean:

The Cycle Of Grief

Shock - People's first reaction is usually one of shock and complete disbelief. Shock affects people in different ways: everything can seem unreal; people can feel numb, withdrawn, detached; some people feel completely disorientated and don't know what to do with themselves. For some it is a nightmare they cannot escape. Many people quickly experience complex and confused feelings - anger, guilt, despair, emptiness, helplessness and hopelessness. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I FELT THIS WAY WHEN LIFE DOES NOT GO AS I HAD PLANNED? WHEN CIRCUMSTANCES OUT OF MY CONTROL OCCUR, I LOSE MY DIRECTION AND REACT OUT OF MY SENSE OF LOSS 'OF CONTROL' . YET, WHEN I WAKE UP TO THE REALITY FOUND IN MY FAITH, I WAIT TO SEE HOW THE LORD WILL USE THESE CIRCUMSTANCES TO GROW MY CHARACTER, ANSWER A PRAYER OR CHANGE ME IN SOME WAY.

Denial - When the shock begins to wear off, many people go through a stage of denial during which they cannot accept the reality of the loss. This often involves what counsellors call searching behaviour, an attempt at some level to try to deny that the death has occurred. People often find themselves thinking they have seen or heard the dead person. Many people talk aloud to the person they have lost. Ah - this is where those old habits creep in! Trying to fill that void within using anything but the HOLY SPIRIT! I deny my need for grace and mercy and try to create a rule-filled existence that turns into full-fledged legalism! Thankfully, this NEVER works. I only end up frustrated and exhausted from trying to control the results of my efforts ... they have only ever been God's results - according to His perfect will! I cannot take credit for His work ... When these 'rules' don't work, my pendelum may swing to fullfledged rebellion - I try to use those habits from my 'old' life to bring some comfort ... this is where ADDICTIONS rear their ugly heads. (I've known Christians that try to deny their 'denial' by using the 'do not get drunk on wine' scripture - and they may not, praise God; but addictions can take many forms - spending, eating, seeking control within relationships ... whatever we use to self-soothe and simultaneously DENY our weaknesses.)

Anger And Guilt - It is common to experience anger, sometimes guilt and often both. Many people find themselves asking: "Why has this happened"? "Why me"? This is particularly so if the loss was sudden, unexpected or involved a tragic accident. Counsellors say that it is common to wish to find blame, either in ourselves, in others, or even with the person who has died, and this can lead to powerful feelings of anger and guilt. BLAME - deflecting blame unto someone else or their actions is a self-protection trick! Think about Adam and Eve! "Well - it was actually HER, God ... she asked me to!" "But it was that sneaky serpent, Lord! It's not MY fault!" Blame is just a symptom of ANGER - no matter where or to whom it is directed. ANGER denies the Lord's sovereignty while GUILT denies the provision of Jesus' sacrifice to bring us back to The Garden. I cannot deny that I get angry (I confess right now - I have a TEMPER!) Yet, when my relationship with God becomes more important that any circumstance or any other relationship on this earth, my desires change. Even though the short-term fix might be to blame someone for my anger - I DO NOT WANT TO GRIEVE MY LORD. Then, maturity kicks in (hopefully and more consistantly :0) and my anger is diffused.

Despair And Depression - In the first few weeks the whole situation may seem unbearable and in the months that follow, many people feel there is little purpose in life and nothing of interest in the outside world. People sometimes begin to question their own sanity and think that you are going mad. Counsellors advise that this is a common experience. There is nothing new under the sun! How often that scripture comes to mind. Of course life becomes unbearable without hope! How often I endured hopelessness before I new the Lord of my salvation! The Lord knew we needed HOPE and it is why HE LIVES!! The resurrection is our HOPE! There is nothing so bad that He cannot take our burdens and replace the heavy yoke of despair with FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE ... these are the freedom to obey, the knowledge of His sacrifice and resurrection and a willingness to take up our cross and follow Him even unto death (even if its just death to our 'old' selves!!)

Acceptance - Eventually people pass through the period of depression and begin to accept the loss. This usually happens with the passage of time and, as the pain eases, we are able to think about our loved one and recall the past without feelings of devastation. This can take up to a year or longer. Actually - I believe it takes MUCH longer ... my desire, however, is found in the amount of time between the acceptance of the death to my 'old' self to the rejoicing in my 'new' resurrected life! I believe that as I continue to be awakened to Christ's presence and as I mature in my faith, that this time will become shorter and shorter ...

I spent many summers of my youth on a farm of close family friends. What an eye opening experience this was for me! I was so naive to the 'ways of a farm' when I arrived - my heart was repeatedly broken as many of my 'animal friends' became ... I know it's harsh ... but, they became supper! :0( Despite the direction of these kind and generous friends to see the animals as provision and be thankful, I was, nevertheless, devestated at the loss of relationship! When I look back on this life lesson, I can connect it with the death to my 'old' self - I cannot 'make friends' with my 'old' self ... it is only a provision of existence that was intended to be used to bring 'new' life. Out of thankfulness, I freely give it to God and ask that He put to death my sinful nature and resurrect a life of the Spirit - in and through Him alone. No more grieving!

It is time to REJOICE and ANTICIPATE THE LORD'S RETURN!

Fifth Week of Lent

This morning, Tony and I read over the devotion for the fifth week of lent over fried eggs, fresh buns and coffee. We quietly sat down in our comfortable home, on our comfortable chairs amidst our comfortable life and read ...

We were reminded of 'The Passion of Christ' ... the word 'passion' comes from a latin word that actually means suffering. This is some of what we read:

"In modern times, we have come to apply the word to any kind of strong
feeling, or commitment, though more properly it describes a suffering for some worthwhile thing.
We have lost this sense of the word, in part perhaps, because there is so little
of this kind of passion left in the western world. There is little we care
enough about to suffer for. However, we are still prone to 'suffering' ...
but of another kind. The root meaning of 'suffering' that we find in the
word 'passion' occurs also in the related word, 'passive'. And though we
don't associate passivity with strong feelings, the passive person suffers as
well. But this suffering comes from outside forces and is the result of
inactivity and lack of direction. How different is the passion of
Jesus: directed by God and willingly accepted ... In Jesus we see
not only the full depth of God's passion for us and the suffering that was a
necessary part of it, but the full depth of one perfect human's passion for
God: obedience that led to death.

How do we respond to God's call to follow Him? Are
we passionate? Or passive? Both ways lead to suffering: if
passionate, we actively choose God's way and follow Jesus obediently, often
suffering as He did; if passive, the suffering we experience is not part of
God's plan for us, and is the pain of being distant from Him, out of His
will. To walk with Jesus, who said, 'Take up your cross and follow Me', we must accept God's direction and choose to follow the path laid out for us. This is a path of certain passion (suffering), but also certain HOPE, because Easter always follows Lent."

At first, we remarked at how foolish this sounds! The Bible says that the good news is 'foolishness to those who do not believe' and I can see how ... either way we get SUFFERING. But are we suffering with purpose and clarity of vision? or are we suffering out of a defiance of God's perfect will and plan for our lives? Do we have passion with HOPE or a hopeless passivity that causes misdirection and a fear of that which (and WHO) we cannot see with our earthly eyes? I think I will reread that little book by Bruce Wilkinson today: "Secrets of the Vine". It's a good one ...

My prayer today: "Lord, thank You for Your great mercy and willingness to suffer for me - so that I may live eternally in Your presence. Thank You for providing for me - and knowing what I need when I am too ignorant and desensitized to the prompting of Your Spirit, to even know what to ask for. You give me strength, courage and wisdom to continue on this narrow path of faith. May You be pleased with my life and receive glory for the good work You continue to do in my heart as I live a resurrected life in and through the Holy Spirit that You have so graciously provided for me. You are a great and wonderful God and I am overwhelmed by You. May I bless Your holy Name today, Lord Jesus. Amen."

Another Successful Recital ...

As I sat and listened to the final student play "Sunrise, Sunset" from 'Fiddler On the Roof', I began to get a little teary as I looked around at all the students (including our two beautiful daughters) and all the eldery people humming and singing along. I was amazed at how fast time had gone - wasn't it just yesterday that I was one of these excited and nervous young pianists waiting my turn? And I thought of how quickly it will be me humming along to the visiting piano studios, Lord willing . . .

It was a tremendous blessing to listen and watch the girls perform their pieces and then observe them graciously visiting with all of the elderly people. A wonderful day was had by all.

Amazing Movie!

Last night we took the girls to see 'Amazing Grace' - the story of abolition in Great Britain as led by William Wilberforce and including the sub-plot of John Newton. It was a wonderful, wonderful movie. GO SEE THIS MOVIE!!! It's one to own ... it's rated PG but there was nothing in it that our girls couldn't handle - it was a serious movie but focused on Wilberforce's character and trials (more than the disgusting practice of slavery and the violence that we all know happened at that time). We are very glad we went! (And it was very nice to get out of the house ... :0) At one point John Newton says, 'what I know is that I am a very great sinner and Christ is a very great Saviour' ... there were a handful of agreements in the audience! And at the end, of course, Maria clapped and cheered!

Afterwards, we stopped to get gas for the jeep and ran into a young couple with aryan nation symbols on their garb (to match their partially shaved heads and green hair). They were VERY intoxicated and used extremely bad language in front of our two girls. I was watching the scene from the jeep (the girls had gone in with Tony to buy slurpees) ... I saw the look on Tony's face as he turned around to confront these two young people (it was like it was in slow motion) ... as I jumped out of the jeep to get the girls out of there, Tony addressed them quickly, quietly and appropriately to 'watch their mouths'. The store clerk reminded these two that it was a public place and they should watch their language. We got out of there as fast as we could ... but it was a serious reminder to us (especially after JUST watching a movie like 'Amazing Grace') that these issues are still around even today - sadly ... My consolation and conviction is to ensure that my children watch movies like this and that we help them to THINK about these issues that they are still being faced with. I'm thankful Tony and I were there for them ... it may not be the same way next time - and what will they think? How will they stand up for what is right if they have not seen their parents do the same? We have a great responsibility to continue the good fight and speak up for Truth and Justice ... well ... enough soap box for this morning :0)

Today is Recital Day ... both the girls are playing in a piano recital for the eldery this afternoon. They are both very excited about this ... Tony and I are so proud of the hard work and dedication with which they approach their music (and studies). I love that they are excited about sharing their gifts and talents with those who may not be able to get out and about to seek music and the arts for themselves. It's a blessing we are happy to share in ... I'll add pictures and stuff later.

May you know the richness of God's blessings today!

Love Show Itself In Many Ways ...

I talk to my mother and father often. We just chat - catch up on the daily happenings in each others' lives and just 'keep in touch'. This morning I was listening to my mother's ongoing saga of perserverance with a proper paint pallet :0) for their parlour (heehee ... actually - it's the kitchen, but that didn't fit my alliteration!). Anyway, as we finished off our conversation, she passed the phone to my father. We had our chat about the everyday things - then, as I was about to tell my father that I had been watching 'Meet Joe Black' (a favourite movie of ours), I assumed it was time for the conversation to be finished - because I heard a click and then my father was no longer there! You must understand - my father is not one to dawdle in pleasantries or words beyond those that efficiently and effectually express his feelings and opinions. He speaks thoughtfully and carefully and exactly. So ... when I heard the 'click', I just assumed we were done! I laughed out loud to myself and said 'love you, Dad' to my living room. I thought of all the times I had seen him walk out the front door of my parents' house while my mother was still applying lipstick for 'an evening out' ... or how he will leave the dinner table when he is finished eating - regardless of mid-dinner-conversation! :0)



These observations are in no way a complaint ... I actually LOVE these things about my Dad! These little 'quirks' are what make him MY Dad! It's HIS way of being and he's unlike anyone I've ever known. I don't take his eccentricities personally - they're not mine to take! Only to accept and love as part of the person who God has given to myself and my sisters to provide, teach and love. And it is in this knowing that I find a deep love for my father. And really - God forbid that anyone should feel offence due to my own idiosyncracies!



Anyway, I was reading my current read this morning ('The Practice of the Presence of God', by Brother Lawrence'). It has been a timely and comforting message to me. I've been dealing with ongoing physical ailments and it can become discouraging at times. Yet, here in the midst of the black and white of the printed page, I read the following:



"FIFTEENTH LETTER: God knoweth best what is needful for us, and all that He does is for our good. If we knew how much He loves us, we should always be ready to receive equally and with indifference from His hand the sweet and the bitter ... That sorest afflictions never appear intolerable, except when we see them in the wrong light. When we see them as dispensed by the hand of God, when we know that it is our loving Father who abases and distresses us, our sufferings will lose their bitterness and become even matter of consolation. Let all our employment be to know God; the more one knows Him, the more one desires to know Him. And as knowledge is commonly the measure of love, the deeper and more extensive our knowledge shall be, the greater will be our love; and if our love of God were great, we should love Him equally in pains and pleasures.



Let us not content ourselves with loving God for the mere sensible favours ... Such favours, though never so great, cannot bring us so near to Him as faith does in one simple act. Let us seek Him often by faith. He is within us; seek Him not elsewhere ... Let us cast everything besides out of our hearts. He would possess them alone. Beg this favour of Him. If we do what we can on our parts, we shall soon see that change wrought in us which we aspire after."



God is GOOD. He is GOODNESS defined. If we really believe that, by faith, our lives are changed and we trust His GOODNESS - no matter what happens, no matter what we must endure, no matter what befalls us. He walks through the pain with us - rarely, does He save us from it. When we get that about what it means to be GOOD, then we can become fearless and bold for our Lord. So ... be GOOD to someone today - what will that mean to you now?



My father did phone back. He had thought it was I who had hung up ... we laughed for a long time about this. The funniest part, I thought, was that it hadn't even caused a reaction in me that I had thought he was finished with our conversation. I merely accepted it and thought, 'ok - love you, Dad. I'll tell you about that movie another time' ... and, thankfully, he was cordial enough to call back and not be bothered by what he had thought about my 'hang up' either. Now that is GRACE!



This is a painting that Louis created for me while I was having some 'quiet' time in bed yesterday :0) It lifted my spirits and made me thankful for my kind and creative kids. I've called it, 'God's Grace For Me'.

Fourth Week of Lent

"Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.

If you need wisdom - if you want to know what God wants you to do - ask Him, and He will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking. But when you ask Him, be sure that you really expect Him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. People like that should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. They can't make up their minds. They waver back and forth in everything they do." James 1:1-8

Read the book of James and be blessed in your journey with the Lord.

The Empty Tomb

'But very early on Sunday morning the women came to the tomb, taking the spices they had prepared. They found that the stone covering the entrance had been rolled aside. So they went in, but they couldn't find the body of the Lord Jesus. They were puzzled, trying to think what could have happened to it. Suddenly, two men appeared to them. Then the men asked,

'Why are you looking in a tomb for someone who is alive? He isn't here! He has risen from the dead! Don't you remember what he told you back in Galilee, that the Son of Man must be betrayed into the hands of sinful men and be crucified, and that He would rise again the third day?'

Then they remember that He had said this. So they rushed back to tell his eleven disciplies - and everyone else - what had happened. The women who went to the tomb were Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and several others." Luke 24:1-10

How Was YOUR Day?

The day started out rather interstingly ... I locked myself out of my house this morning as I was on my way to take the kids to school! I left my keys right beside the phone (after calling to confirm the time of my doctor's appointment). Out I went! And then ... click! Jeep keys, house keys - the works - all inside! Thank God that my neighbour was home! I was SO thankful! We all went into her house (what a gracious woman!) and I called Uncle Paul to come open the door (hoping he had a spare key - praise God - he did!).

On the way to school, the roads were pure ice. We were listening to CBC and on came 'The Skaters Waltz' - boy did I laugh! Three cars in front of me went careening past the turn right in time with the music! La-da-da-da, La-da-da-da, La-da-da-da ... it was very funny (everyone was fine :0) It's where we live!

Anyway, the day got better ... snow and all ...

The kids have been having a great time on their blogs - I added some new links for them to different kids' sites (NASA, World Wildlife Fed., Classical Music for kids and a Neuroscience site). They love it! I love that I can add links to their own blogs that I choose and they aren't just randomly surfing the net ... it's just back and forth from those sites. Regina is colouring her 'neuroscientist' colouring page as I type (yup - that's my Regina!) It was great to observe who wanted to go to what site. Regina and Louis both liked the neuroscience site - Maria not so much. Maria loved the Classical Music site but stayed the longest on the NASA site. They all loved that one the best, I think.

Well, now that the time change has kicked in at least it's still light out for awhile :0) I wasn't enjoying waking up in the dark again ... and it's nice to be able to open the windows again! After the huge snow storm we had I was beginning to wonder what it would be like to live in AUSTRALIA! (I decided there are definately too many bugs! :0)

Well, the boys are home from violin lesson ... off I go to tuck and kiss the kids good night!

Ciao!

Did I Say It Felt Like SPRING?!?!

Yup! This is the weather we get ... this morning the girls wore rubber boots and rain coats and carried their umbrellas! Tonight, we get the mittens, toques and winter coats back out! Geesh!

A Sleepless Night

Last night, the wind was HORRENDOUS! It blew and it blew and it blew (but our house still stands :0) At about 2:30am I heard an excessive banging and woke Tony up to check it out. It turned out to be our two cats tearing around downstairs. The wind was blowing so badly that I thought there was a storm outside - but when I checked out our bedroom window, the sky was clear! The storm eventually did come and the girls were very excited to be able to pull out their rubber boots, rain coats and umbrellas. It really does feel like spring is arriving!

Tony read our "Week 3" devotional, scripture and prayer last night for us. It really hit home for the two of us. It talked about 'disobedient children' - and it was referring to us ADULTS! Here's a quote from the page:

"Parents (myself included) are often quick to expect perfection from their
children, and are shocked when it doesn't appear .... 'You should know better!',
we say. Yet, far from having the right to pose as mature and sinless
adults (whether we are parents or not), we too are merely disobedient children
in the eyes of God. Paul writes to the Romans, 'All have turned away from
God; they have all gone wrong; no one does what is right, not even one.'
God didn't wait for us to come to our senses, or to prove that we were going to
'behave' for the duration. This gift, this forgiveness, is not a reward
for good behaviour. It is free and undeserved. Even so, God says,
'You are worthy of this gift because you belong to me. I am your
father, you are my child. I love you and I am not willing to lose you.' "

Read ROMANS 5:6-11

After last night's devotional time and then the raging wind that rattled our house, it reminded me of the importance of integrity - meaning what I say and doing what I mean - Lord, make me like You! Then I read the scripture from Luke 6:46-49, "So, why do you call Me, 'Lord', when you won't obey me? I will show you what it's like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching and then obeys me. It is like a person who builds a house on a strong foundation laid upon the underlying rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against the house, it stands firm because it is well built. But anyone who listens and doesn't obey is like a person who builds a house without a foundation. When the floods sweep down against that house, it will crumble into a heap of ruins."

At church Saturday evening, we read about Abraham, from Genesis. God called Abraham and promised to show him the land where he was to live. He promised blessings for Abraham's obedience. REVELATION - CALLING - OBEDIENCE - BLESSING. There is definately an order to God's ways and our part is in the patience, praying and believing. Regina asked me what 'faith' was during that same sermon. We looked up Hebrews 11:1 to find our answer. It says, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." In my NLT it reads, "It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see." Then it goes on to say, "GOD GAVE HIS APPROVAL TO PEOPLE IN DAYS OF OLD BECAUSE OF THEIR FAITH," and then in verse 13, "All these faithful ones died without receiving what God had promised them, but they saw it all from a distance and welcomed the promises of God."

God grant us faith to believe, the wisdom to pray without ceasing
and the patience to wait for the fulfillment of Your promises.

Well, Tony and I have some rather dark circles around our eyes today (he had to work at 6am). I noticed that he changed his alarm at 2:30 this morning to be able to sleep in a little. He was going to work out at the gym before work and had his alarm set for 3:50? Yikes! He does that so he can still get home on time and not be any later than he has too after work. I really appreciate that about Tony ... he works very long hours and sometimes it feels like we don't really see him for a few days at a time, but he makes a great effort to be at home as much as he can. Thanks, hun!

Lou is home sick today. He has the flu - he put himself to bed at 6:30 yesterday evening, and there he stayed! We never heard from him for the rest of the evening. I really do hate when the kids are sick. Since it was a 'down' day for us, I decided to start blog pages for the kids!

It's an idea I've been mullin around for awhile and today's the day! So, I sat with Maria and Lou and we started their own pages. They picked their own templates and we filled in all kinds of fun info. Regina's is started and I'll get her to fill in her info after school. I've put links to all our pages - so check them out!

Kite Flying

What a beautiful day today! It was warm and the breeze was perfect for kite flying. We had some success and some crashes and alot of fun ... It was great to see everyone just relaxing and being silly.

A Visit to the Bird Sanctuary

This morning Jenn and I took the kids (+2) to the Bird Sanctuary and had a great time wandering throught the great outdoors ( ... in the middle of the city :0). Maria and Regina had the camera - they had alot of fun taking pictures! Here is their visual contribution:

If I Were A Butterfly ...

Last week, Regina's class led chapel for the elementary students. They sang one of my favourite songs ... (reminder to self: don't sing along when you're videoing :0) Oh Well! Enjoy! (make sure you pause the music 'widget' first so that you only get one sound bite at a time :0)

Good Morning!

This morning, I did something quite out of the ordinary for me! I dropped the kids off for school, came home (without stopping at Tim's :0) and WENT FOR A 15 MINUTE WALK around our neighbourhood!!!

It was glorious - the sun is shining, the sky is bright and blue, the air is crisp and I feel revived and ready to start my day. I am humbled by God's grace and mercy - I am humbled by His faithfulness and the loving ways He always manages to get my attention. As I was walking along this morning, I began to pray for our neighbourhood and all of the people in all of the houses that I've never seen and don't know. But, the Lord knows them all - each one - by name. He knew them before they were born and numbered every hair on their heads. I prayed that all those He is willing to save, would have their names written in the Book of Life and receive salvation through faith - and faith by hearing the Word of God. I prayed for many believers in salvation through Jesus Christ to move into our neighbourhood and surround our area and the people who need the freedom, joy and life in the Spirit. I pray for freedom from addictions to all that the world offers and freedom from sin. I prayed that all would know Him by name, hear His voice and become a child of adoption into His great and glorious family. I pray that we would all know the glorious riches of His kingdom. I prayed that many would stand as a House of Prayer and that our lives would be an example of His power and grace.

What came to me, as I was praying this morning, was the reminder that in my salvation, the Bible says, I have received a new name (think about Abraham, Sarah, Israel, Peter, Paul, etc. etc.) I wondered what my new name would be ... then the quietest whisper of a word came to my mind; "Precious" (no it wasn't Gollum!) :0) But it did bring tears to my eyes. For many years my sisters have (affectionately) teased me and called me 'Precious'. I'm the youngest in my family (by some years) and it has often been brought to my attention that I have seemingly, been favoured by my parents because of this chronilogical standing. When I was growing up, I was proud of this perception by my sisters. However, God has changed my pridefulness into humility (and apparently my fear into boldness :0) and I no longer like that perception - in my new 'sensitive' existence, it makes me feel sad and misunderstood. I have had similar experiences with others - an acquaintance at church once eluded to my spirituality in a sarcastic way and, at the time, it shocked me to think that anyone perceived me as anything but sincere or could feel resentment towards me.

The Lord has brought healing and wisdom through the guidance and teaching of the Holy Spirit who counsels me and opens my eyes to God's ways, God's thoughts and God's desires for me. I'm not a robot - I still have feelings but I no longer need to be understood by others - God knows my heart and sees everything - the good and the bad ... and He blesses the good to the glory of His Name and He cleans out the bad, humbles me with a broken spirit and renews my faith to continue following Him. I no longer feel the need to defend myself for I know who fights for me. I no longer need to prove myself to others by what I do, because the Lord has approved me by the only thing that ever could - His precious blood, to make me what I am - a child of God! So, today, when the Lord called me 'Precious', I know that I truly am - because He made me and what He made, He is pleased with. It shocked me, at first, to hear that word being said with sincerity and meaning - but as I received it, I was reminded of God's perfect love and did not question His intention for me. The planting of that Truth in my soul is what gives me the strength to face each day and rejoice! It the PEACE that endures through any circumstance. So, here is what I pray in response to that knowledge:

"Father, I thank you for Your wisdom and patience. I thank You that I can work out my salvation - this beautiful, most treasured gift - with fear and trembling. You have humbled me and granted me faith to believe in a future that holds HOPE, HEALING, PROSPERITY and BLESSINGS BEYOND NUMBER. You are holy and I pray that You would continue to refine my spirit, bless my soul and make me to stand as a House of Prayer in Your Name, for Your glory. Lord, I ask forgiveness for all the ways I have caused others pain - You know my sinful ways, and how often I need to be cleansed of wrong thinking, wrong doing and wrong saying. Thank You that as I draw near in repentance, You faithfully, draw nearer to me. I pray for my mother, father and sisters, Lord ... I thank You for the love that You have given me for each of them. I thank You for the love that I have received from each of them and how You have taught me how to pass that love onto my own family. You are so good to me and I am so grateful. I pray that we would continue to receive healing, wisdom and mercy from You and in turn, honour and glorify You, Lord and be used to bless others in this life by You. In the Name of my beloved Saviour, Jesus, I pray. Amen.

LOTR Returns ....

I think my legs are losing circulation in them ... I've been at the computer for soooooooooooo long! My dissertation is almost finish - on my (hopefully) final edit of my essay and then ... onto my analysis - YIPPEEE! I think I'm starting to go a little wonkee! 16 days to go!!!!!!!!



As much effort that this whole process requires, I still feel so thankful to know that God has said, "Go here - do this ..." and I am overwhelmed by the knowledge of His will for me - He has blessed me hugely with my piano studio and all that I've learned for the last 5 years. I am so thankful for this path and the second chance He has given me to pursue the dreams He gave me so long ago. When I studied piano many, many, many years ago in my youth, I never envisioned myself as a teacher - I only knew how much I loved to play and share my passion for music! Yet, had I been faced with the same opportunities I have now back then, I know I would not have appreciated them nor been able to commit to the fulfillment of those dreams - because I did not yet know the strength, wisdom and courage that comes only from the Lord. He is patient! And now I can say, 'it's all His' ...



So ... on with the day .... :0) Tony and I took Lou to play some badminton this afternoon. It was a great diversion. The boys kicked butt, so I bowed out of the second game and wandered the library for an hour. It was very quiet and peaceful :0) Of course, I came out with an arm load of books: biographies on Chopin, Prokofiev, Robert Schumann and a few other 'musical' things. Then I got onto a gig about "books on tape" (I am trying to give up 'random TV' watching for lent). Patrick O'Brian (I think?) ... the same guy who wrote "Master and Commander" ... and some Chicken Soup for the Soul, Preteen Stories for Lou.



The three of us had a conversation about fasting on the way home from badminton. We usually try to do something as a family at this time of year. We're a little late getting started - but I don't think that's really the point anyway :0) I suggested media (TV, radio, cell phones). Tony suggested eating out. Lou suggested getting up early (har har har). So, I guess we'll go our own way this year. But we did discuss the importance of 'spiritual disciplines'. It's like Tony going to the gym consistently. He says he does that for his work; to be safe and strong and maintain focus. I say - it's exactly the same thing for your spiritual life: to maintain focus, be strong and stay safe. I used to think there were three important, but separate, elements to our existence - mental, physical and spiritual. I used to think that we could only have our attention turned to one at a time.



Now, I think that they are not separate elements at all, but that they all mesh together into one defining experience that flows from the One Living God - our Source and Salvation. Now I see many elements, outside of the single, self-centred existence of my past. In addition to these three, there are elements of relationship, finances, service, vocation and many more! When we neglect any of the parts of the whole, the others suffer too. God is always revealing Himself to us in special and unique ways - in all of the areas. That's why I receive so much spiritually when I'm studying and teaching piano. That's why Tony feels the closest to God when he's working out. We are all so different and God knows our needs :0) There just isn't one way to grow ... now if I could figure that out for my kids :0) hmmm ...



Well, we got home - I made some chocolate cupcakes (from scratch!!!! What?!?!?! I know .... it must be the fresh air and sunshine - has anyone noticed it's still light out at 5:30?!?! YAY!) Anyway, the boys are just finishing the first disc of the Fellowship (LOTR) and I'll be checking on my cupcakes soon.



Here's a scripture I like to read as a reminder of how God has saved me from all my 'old demons'; the sickness of sin that used to rule my existence (mind, body and soul):

"I said, 'In the prime of my life, must I now enter the place of the dead? Am I to be robbed of my normal years?' I said, 'Never again will I see the Lord God while still in the land of the living. Never again will I see my friends or laugh with those who live in this world. My life has been blown away like a shepherd's tent in a storm. It has been cut short, as when a weaver cuts cloth from a loom. Suddenly, my life was over. I waited patiently all night, but I was torn apart as though by lions. Suddenly, my life was over. Delirious, I chattered like a swallow or a crane, and then I moaned like a mourning dove. My eyes grew tired of looking to heaven for help. I am in trouble, Lord. Help me!'

But what could I say? For He Himself had sent this sickness. Now I will walk humbly throughout my years because of this anguish I have felt. Lord, Your discipline is good, for it leads to life and health. You have restored my health and have allowed me to live! Yes, it was good for me to suffer this anguish, for You have rescued me from death and have forgiven all my sins.

For the dead cannot praise you; they cannot raise their voices in praise. Those who go down to destruction can longer hope in Your faithfulness. Only the living can praise You as I do today.

Each generation can make known Your faithfulness to the next. Think of it - the Lord has healed me!

I will sing His praises with instruments every day of my life in the Temple of the Lord"

Isaiah 38:10-20

The Gatos and Your Family Miss You Girls!

Hey there, Regina and Maria!
Here are some photos of you both at Christmas on the bunny hill :0)

Louis was asking how your ski trip was going - he said, 'way to go, girls! you earned it!' He misses you and is hoping to join you both next time. You definately put the effort into earning your reward - Dad and I are very proud of both of you :0) If it doesn't work out for skiing in the next couple of day, don't worry - Dad and I will make sure you get a chance to go soon ... keep smilin'!! :0)












Here are photos of your gatos, girls. We all miss you very much and hope you are having a wonderful time with your Nonna and Pop! :0) Love you!
What a blessing it is to be able to enjoy such a beautiful area, too. Make the most of your time and get lots of fresh 'mountain' air.



Only TWO days left ... Wow! Where did the time go? Looking forward to seeing you very soon. Love you!

Mom, Dad and Louis

Sleepover for the Boys

There was ice cream, Barnyard humour (we watched the movie), popcorn, video games (x 1 000 000 000), giggling, wrestling and waffles this morning over Shrek. Phew! Louis and Stephen had a sleepover last night and the boys are still at the video games. Bedtime was about 11:15 and our wake-up call came at about 7:15 this morning. It's important to make the most of your time :0) Here are some action shots of the gaming-sessions:

Happy Birthday, Tony!

Well, he has finally caught up to me! (As I've heard MANY times already in the last couple of days). We got all dressed up, opened some gifts and headed out for a great dinner last night. Tony always gets sentimental around his birthday (maybe it's just aging :0) He likes to tell me that he only wants a "quiet" birthday - yet, the way his face lights up when he gets cards, phone calls and gifts tells a different story. I got a little teary myself when I heard my dad say, "Love you, Tony" on the phone and my dear hubby's reply was, "right back atcha, Pop". My two favourite men lovin'-it-up on the phone ... how great is that?

Tony has such a strength and capability about him. He is self-sufficient, and likes it that way. I know that he really doesn't NEED alot of anything (he doesn't need a housekeeper, cook, launderer or secretary - ok, maybe a secretary :0) He's the kind of guy that people depend on and he's always there when we need him. He's definately a man worth celebrating! I know that I'm sure glad he was born!!! and so are our children :0)

I know I didn't get to whisk him away for an extravigant trip or buy him expensive gifts (he wouldn't want me spending that kind of money on him anyway!) but, it was, as always, a blessing to be able to share in Tony's special day and celebrate the life of one of the best guys around! Happy Birthday, my love.

Here's a blessing for you from your Heavenly Father, my love. I pray that you'll receive it well and carry it deep within your heart - for the good days of eternal perspective and if ever you become discouraged:

"O Lord, You have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my every thought when far away. You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment You know where I am. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You both precede and follow me. You place Your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to know!

I can never escape from Your Spirit! I can never get away from Your presence! If I go up to heaven, You are there; if I go down to the place of the dead, You are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there Your hand will guide me, and Your strength will support me. I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night - but even in darkness I cannot hide from You. To You the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are both alike to You.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - and how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in Your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

How precious are Your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up in the morning, You are still with me!" Psalm 139:1-18

Tag! :0)

I love surveys too! Here goes ...

Aprons - Y/N? I do own one - unfortunately, I received it from an old boyfriend (the relationship was VERY short lived after that gift! I keep it around to remind me how blessed I am that God chose Tony for me :0)
Baking - Favorite thing to bake? Chocolate Cake (or Chocolate Cupcakes) with Chocolate Icing
Clothesline - Y/N? No - but I do like them ... we used to have one outside our old townhouse (before they converted them into condos) ... it was great 'visiting' time with the moms in the backyard :0)
Donuts - Ever made them? No. But Naomi's mom makes amazing home made donuts! Yum!
Everyday - One homemaking thing you do everyday? Make my bed - I like to get into a made bed.
Freezer - Do you have a separate deep freezer? Yes (it also acts as a folding table for our washer and dryer :0)
Garbage Disposal - Y/N? Nope!
Handbook - Y/N? Not really - try FLYLady too ... it takes me a REALLY long time to adopt routines ... oh well!
Ironing - Love it or hate it? Don't tell Tony, but I used to LOVE ironing my father's work shirts when I was a teenager ... I think we have an iron somewhere in this house ???
Junk Drawer - Where is it? I have a 'junk office' at the moment ... sigh ... other than that, I have little piles of things to put away (FLYLady would be so disappointed :0)
Kitchen - Design and decorating? Just try to keep the counters and table clear!
Love - What is your favorite part of homemaking? Hanging homemade 'whatevers' around that the kids make ... I also like making Sunday suppers and my typical 'healthy' food meals - I like anything heavy and whole grain and separating my meals into veggie/starch/protein portions (it's weird, I know ... but I think it's fun to fill in the 'puzzle' and mix-and-match suppers!). I like to decorate and find special ornaments or artwork for each room (I DON'T like cleaning ... would love a live-in housekeeper! :0)
Mop - Y/N? Ok, this survey is depressing me ... we do have a mop in our basement - but ... it might still have the tag from the store on it ... I'm more of a 'spot' wash cleaner ...
Nylons - I hate them too!!! Tights or pants, please! (I enjoy Katherine Hepburn's style of dress :0)
Oven - Do you use the window or open it to check? Both. Usually to see what Tony's cooking :0)
Pizza - What do you put on yours? I don't usually do homemade - I like all kinds of pizza, though. There's the classic hawaiin - a hit at our house. I like BBQ Chicken Pizza, flatbread pizzas, veggie deluxe pizzas ... Don't care to much for all meat, though - that's Tony's fav.
Quiet - What do you do during the day when you get a quiet moment? Blog, blog, blog (I have three going now :0) I also like to READ in my reading-chair with some quiet, classical music on. Aah ... it's a good life, yes?
Recipe card box - Y/N? Nope. I used to do much more of this stuff when Tony and I were first married and the kids were younger and I was at home more. Now it's back and forth from school, lessons and teaching. I have a very nostalgic pull towards any recipes I've received from my mom in her handwriting (or my grandmothers) ... those are treasures to me. I've also had some really nice recipe books given to me as gifts - I really like those. I like old-fashioned recipes (one of Tony and I's favourite recipe books is the Albert 75 years anniversay cookbook that the graduating class of 80-something put out years ago ... it's full of family recipes from the ladies of the town where I grew up)
Style of house - My favourite is an 'A' Frame timber-house (but it would be nice if it was on 'some' acres of land with a view :0) Typically, Tony and I end up in our 2-story reliable. I like open concepts and lots of windows (I lie in bed in the morning and look out our second story window with our cats ... across the farmer's field and think about the day ahead ... it's nice)
Tablecloths and napkins - Y/N? Yes, yes, yes - always! Comes from my mother. Cloth or paper - doesn't matter. When I was in school, my mother would send my brown-bag lunch with a napkin in it (and I always used it!) :0)
Under the kitchen sink - Enough grossness for those two English ladies from "How clean is your house" to create an episode around ... ug! Actually, it's mostly garbage container, a basket of cleaning supplies under a mountain of plastic grocery bags.
Vacuum - How many times a week? Oh that's just a nasty question!!! Usually twice at least (but the stairs always get missed ... I do THINK of it often, however - in my own defence :0)
Wash - How many loads do you do a week? Do I have to finish this survey? Did I say I love surveys?!?! I found one I don't love ... one on cleaning - yuck! I don't do laundry - yes - I said I don't do laundry ... Tony does all the laundry (I do fold and put away when he gives it to me, though ... does that sound better? :0)
X’s - Do you keep a list of things to do and cross them off? Yes, yes, yes - it usually includes "don't forget students coming at such-and-such-a-time, you must leave the house at 2:50 in order to pick kids up at 3:15, did you take your medication today? get groceries at such-and-such-a-time" ... very detailed - having ADHD, I couldn't survive (nor would my dear family) without my lists. (Just ask Tony what happens when I come to a 4-way stop ... it's scary!)
Yard - Who does what? Now this I enjoy! Yes, indeed! I could work in the yard all day. I love to fuss with flowers and landscaping, etc. Even shovelling is fun. We both take part but Tony mostly mows the lawn (we borrow his parents and then he does both yards ... and sometimes even our neighbours too!) I just love any excuse to be outside!
ZZZ’s - What is your last homemaking task for the day? Checking all the windows and doors - pulling blinds down and checking on the kids.

OK - I tag my cuzn' Jenn!