A Sleepless Night

Last night, the wind was HORRENDOUS! It blew and it blew and it blew (but our house still stands :0) At about 2:30am I heard an excessive banging and woke Tony up to check it out. It turned out to be our two cats tearing around downstairs. The wind was blowing so badly that I thought there was a storm outside - but when I checked out our bedroom window, the sky was clear! The storm eventually did come and the girls were very excited to be able to pull out their rubber boots, rain coats and umbrellas. It really does feel like spring is arriving!

Tony read our "Week 3" devotional, scripture and prayer last night for us. It really hit home for the two of us. It talked about 'disobedient children' - and it was referring to us ADULTS! Here's a quote from the page:

"Parents (myself included) are often quick to expect perfection from their
children, and are shocked when it doesn't appear .... 'You should know better!',
we say. Yet, far from having the right to pose as mature and sinless
adults (whether we are parents or not), we too are merely disobedient children
in the eyes of God. Paul writes to the Romans, 'All have turned away from
God; they have all gone wrong; no one does what is right, not even one.'
God didn't wait for us to come to our senses, or to prove that we were going to
'behave' for the duration. This gift, this forgiveness, is not a reward
for good behaviour. It is free and undeserved. Even so, God says,
'You are worthy of this gift because you belong to me. I am your
father, you are my child. I love you and I am not willing to lose you.' "

Read ROMANS 5:6-11

After last night's devotional time and then the raging wind that rattled our house, it reminded me of the importance of integrity - meaning what I say and doing what I mean - Lord, make me like You! Then I read the scripture from Luke 6:46-49, "So, why do you call Me, 'Lord', when you won't obey me? I will show you what it's like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching and then obeys me. It is like a person who builds a house on a strong foundation laid upon the underlying rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against the house, it stands firm because it is well built. But anyone who listens and doesn't obey is like a person who builds a house without a foundation. When the floods sweep down against that house, it will crumble into a heap of ruins."

At church Saturday evening, we read about Abraham, from Genesis. God called Abraham and promised to show him the land where he was to live. He promised blessings for Abraham's obedience. REVELATION - CALLING - OBEDIENCE - BLESSING. There is definately an order to God's ways and our part is in the patience, praying and believing. Regina asked me what 'faith' was during that same sermon. We looked up Hebrews 11:1 to find our answer. It says, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." In my NLT it reads, "It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see." Then it goes on to say, "GOD GAVE HIS APPROVAL TO PEOPLE IN DAYS OF OLD BECAUSE OF THEIR FAITH," and then in verse 13, "All these faithful ones died without receiving what God had promised them, but they saw it all from a distance and welcomed the promises of God."

God grant us faith to believe, the wisdom to pray without ceasing
and the patience to wait for the fulfillment of Your promises.

Well, Tony and I have some rather dark circles around our eyes today (he had to work at 6am). I noticed that he changed his alarm at 2:30 this morning to be able to sleep in a little. He was going to work out at the gym before work and had his alarm set for 3:50? Yikes! He does that so he can still get home on time and not be any later than he has too after work. I really appreciate that about Tony ... he works very long hours and sometimes it feels like we don't really see him for a few days at a time, but he makes a great effort to be at home as much as he can. Thanks, hun!

Lou is home sick today. He has the flu - he put himself to bed at 6:30 yesterday evening, and there he stayed! We never heard from him for the rest of the evening. I really do hate when the kids are sick. Since it was a 'down' day for us, I decided to start blog pages for the kids!

It's an idea I've been mullin around for awhile and today's the day! So, I sat with Maria and Lou and we started their own pages. They picked their own templates and we filled in all kinds of fun info. Regina's is started and I'll get her to fill in her info after school. I've put links to all our pages - so check them out!

Kite Flying

What a beautiful day today! It was warm and the breeze was perfect for kite flying. We had some success and some crashes and alot of fun ... It was great to see everyone just relaxing and being silly.

A Visit to the Bird Sanctuary

This morning Jenn and I took the kids (+2) to the Bird Sanctuary and had a great time wandering throught the great outdoors ( ... in the middle of the city :0). Maria and Regina had the camera - they had alot of fun taking pictures! Here is their visual contribution:

If I Were A Butterfly ...

Last week, Regina's class led chapel for the elementary students. They sang one of my favourite songs ... (reminder to self: don't sing along when you're videoing :0) Oh Well! Enjoy! (make sure you pause the music 'widget' first so that you only get one sound bite at a time :0)

Good Morning!

This morning, I did something quite out of the ordinary for me! I dropped the kids off for school, came home (without stopping at Tim's :0) and WENT FOR A 15 MINUTE WALK around our neighbourhood!!!

It was glorious - the sun is shining, the sky is bright and blue, the air is crisp and I feel revived and ready to start my day. I am humbled by God's grace and mercy - I am humbled by His faithfulness and the loving ways He always manages to get my attention. As I was walking along this morning, I began to pray for our neighbourhood and all of the people in all of the houses that I've never seen and don't know. But, the Lord knows them all - each one - by name. He knew them before they were born and numbered every hair on their heads. I prayed that all those He is willing to save, would have their names written in the Book of Life and receive salvation through faith - and faith by hearing the Word of God. I prayed for many believers in salvation through Jesus Christ to move into our neighbourhood and surround our area and the people who need the freedom, joy and life in the Spirit. I pray for freedom from addictions to all that the world offers and freedom from sin. I prayed that all would know Him by name, hear His voice and become a child of adoption into His great and glorious family. I pray that we would all know the glorious riches of His kingdom. I prayed that many would stand as a House of Prayer and that our lives would be an example of His power and grace.

What came to me, as I was praying this morning, was the reminder that in my salvation, the Bible says, I have received a new name (think about Abraham, Sarah, Israel, Peter, Paul, etc. etc.) I wondered what my new name would be ... then the quietest whisper of a word came to my mind; "Precious" (no it wasn't Gollum!) :0) But it did bring tears to my eyes. For many years my sisters have (affectionately) teased me and called me 'Precious'. I'm the youngest in my family (by some years) and it has often been brought to my attention that I have seemingly, been favoured by my parents because of this chronilogical standing. When I was growing up, I was proud of this perception by my sisters. However, God has changed my pridefulness into humility (and apparently my fear into boldness :0) and I no longer like that perception - in my new 'sensitive' existence, it makes me feel sad and misunderstood. I have had similar experiences with others - an acquaintance at church once eluded to my spirituality in a sarcastic way and, at the time, it shocked me to think that anyone perceived me as anything but sincere or could feel resentment towards me.

The Lord has brought healing and wisdom through the guidance and teaching of the Holy Spirit who counsels me and opens my eyes to God's ways, God's thoughts and God's desires for me. I'm not a robot - I still have feelings but I no longer need to be understood by others - God knows my heart and sees everything - the good and the bad ... and He blesses the good to the glory of His Name and He cleans out the bad, humbles me with a broken spirit and renews my faith to continue following Him. I no longer feel the need to defend myself for I know who fights for me. I no longer need to prove myself to others by what I do, because the Lord has approved me by the only thing that ever could - His precious blood, to make me what I am - a child of God! So, today, when the Lord called me 'Precious', I know that I truly am - because He made me and what He made, He is pleased with. It shocked me, at first, to hear that word being said with sincerity and meaning - but as I received it, I was reminded of God's perfect love and did not question His intention for me. The planting of that Truth in my soul is what gives me the strength to face each day and rejoice! It the PEACE that endures through any circumstance. So, here is what I pray in response to that knowledge:

"Father, I thank you for Your wisdom and patience. I thank You that I can work out my salvation - this beautiful, most treasured gift - with fear and trembling. You have humbled me and granted me faith to believe in a future that holds HOPE, HEALING, PROSPERITY and BLESSINGS BEYOND NUMBER. You are holy and I pray that You would continue to refine my spirit, bless my soul and make me to stand as a House of Prayer in Your Name, for Your glory. Lord, I ask forgiveness for all the ways I have caused others pain - You know my sinful ways, and how often I need to be cleansed of wrong thinking, wrong doing and wrong saying. Thank You that as I draw near in repentance, You faithfully, draw nearer to me. I pray for my mother, father and sisters, Lord ... I thank You for the love that You have given me for each of them. I thank You for the love that I have received from each of them and how You have taught me how to pass that love onto my own family. You are so good to me and I am so grateful. I pray that we would continue to receive healing, wisdom and mercy from You and in turn, honour and glorify You, Lord and be used to bless others in this life by You. In the Name of my beloved Saviour, Jesus, I pray. Amen.

LOTR Returns ....

I think my legs are losing circulation in them ... I've been at the computer for soooooooooooo long! My dissertation is almost finish - on my (hopefully) final edit of my essay and then ... onto my analysis - YIPPEEE! I think I'm starting to go a little wonkee! 16 days to go!!!!!!!!



As much effort that this whole process requires, I still feel so thankful to know that God has said, "Go here - do this ..." and I am overwhelmed by the knowledge of His will for me - He has blessed me hugely with my piano studio and all that I've learned for the last 5 years. I am so thankful for this path and the second chance He has given me to pursue the dreams He gave me so long ago. When I studied piano many, many, many years ago in my youth, I never envisioned myself as a teacher - I only knew how much I loved to play and share my passion for music! Yet, had I been faced with the same opportunities I have now back then, I know I would not have appreciated them nor been able to commit to the fulfillment of those dreams - because I did not yet know the strength, wisdom and courage that comes only from the Lord. He is patient! And now I can say, 'it's all His' ...



So ... on with the day .... :0) Tony and I took Lou to play some badminton this afternoon. It was a great diversion. The boys kicked butt, so I bowed out of the second game and wandered the library for an hour. It was very quiet and peaceful :0) Of course, I came out with an arm load of books: biographies on Chopin, Prokofiev, Robert Schumann and a few other 'musical' things. Then I got onto a gig about "books on tape" (I am trying to give up 'random TV' watching for lent). Patrick O'Brian (I think?) ... the same guy who wrote "Master and Commander" ... and some Chicken Soup for the Soul, Preteen Stories for Lou.



The three of us had a conversation about fasting on the way home from badminton. We usually try to do something as a family at this time of year. We're a little late getting started - but I don't think that's really the point anyway :0) I suggested media (TV, radio, cell phones). Tony suggested eating out. Lou suggested getting up early (har har har). So, I guess we'll go our own way this year. But we did discuss the importance of 'spiritual disciplines'. It's like Tony going to the gym consistently. He says he does that for his work; to be safe and strong and maintain focus. I say - it's exactly the same thing for your spiritual life: to maintain focus, be strong and stay safe. I used to think there were three important, but separate, elements to our existence - mental, physical and spiritual. I used to think that we could only have our attention turned to one at a time.



Now, I think that they are not separate elements at all, but that they all mesh together into one defining experience that flows from the One Living God - our Source and Salvation. Now I see many elements, outside of the single, self-centred existence of my past. In addition to these three, there are elements of relationship, finances, service, vocation and many more! When we neglect any of the parts of the whole, the others suffer too. God is always revealing Himself to us in special and unique ways - in all of the areas. That's why I receive so much spiritually when I'm studying and teaching piano. That's why Tony feels the closest to God when he's working out. We are all so different and God knows our needs :0) There just isn't one way to grow ... now if I could figure that out for my kids :0) hmmm ...



Well, we got home - I made some chocolate cupcakes (from scratch!!!! What?!?!?! I know .... it must be the fresh air and sunshine - has anyone noticed it's still light out at 5:30?!?! YAY!) Anyway, the boys are just finishing the first disc of the Fellowship (LOTR) and I'll be checking on my cupcakes soon.



Here's a scripture I like to read as a reminder of how God has saved me from all my 'old demons'; the sickness of sin that used to rule my existence (mind, body and soul):

"I said, 'In the prime of my life, must I now enter the place of the dead? Am I to be robbed of my normal years?' I said, 'Never again will I see the Lord God while still in the land of the living. Never again will I see my friends or laugh with those who live in this world. My life has been blown away like a shepherd's tent in a storm. It has been cut short, as when a weaver cuts cloth from a loom. Suddenly, my life was over. I waited patiently all night, but I was torn apart as though by lions. Suddenly, my life was over. Delirious, I chattered like a swallow or a crane, and then I moaned like a mourning dove. My eyes grew tired of looking to heaven for help. I am in trouble, Lord. Help me!'

But what could I say? For He Himself had sent this sickness. Now I will walk humbly throughout my years because of this anguish I have felt. Lord, Your discipline is good, for it leads to life and health. You have restored my health and have allowed me to live! Yes, it was good for me to suffer this anguish, for You have rescued me from death and have forgiven all my sins.

For the dead cannot praise you; they cannot raise their voices in praise. Those who go down to destruction can longer hope in Your faithfulness. Only the living can praise You as I do today.

Each generation can make known Your faithfulness to the next. Think of it - the Lord has healed me!

I will sing His praises with instruments every day of my life in the Temple of the Lord"

Isaiah 38:10-20

The Gatos and Your Family Miss You Girls!

Hey there, Regina and Maria!
Here are some photos of you both at Christmas on the bunny hill :0)

Louis was asking how your ski trip was going - he said, 'way to go, girls! you earned it!' He misses you and is hoping to join you both next time. You definately put the effort into earning your reward - Dad and I are very proud of both of you :0) If it doesn't work out for skiing in the next couple of day, don't worry - Dad and I will make sure you get a chance to go soon ... keep smilin'!! :0)












Here are photos of your gatos, girls. We all miss you very much and hope you are having a wonderful time with your Nonna and Pop! :0) Love you!
What a blessing it is to be able to enjoy such a beautiful area, too. Make the most of your time and get lots of fresh 'mountain' air.



Only TWO days left ... Wow! Where did the time go? Looking forward to seeing you very soon. Love you!

Mom, Dad and Louis

Sleepover for the Boys

There was ice cream, Barnyard humour (we watched the movie), popcorn, video games (x 1 000 000 000), giggling, wrestling and waffles this morning over Shrek. Phew! Louis and Stephen had a sleepover last night and the boys are still at the video games. Bedtime was about 11:15 and our wake-up call came at about 7:15 this morning. It's important to make the most of your time :0) Here are some action shots of the gaming-sessions:

Happy Birthday, Tony!

Well, he has finally caught up to me! (As I've heard MANY times already in the last couple of days). We got all dressed up, opened some gifts and headed out for a great dinner last night. Tony always gets sentimental around his birthday (maybe it's just aging :0) He likes to tell me that he only wants a "quiet" birthday - yet, the way his face lights up when he gets cards, phone calls and gifts tells a different story. I got a little teary myself when I heard my dad say, "Love you, Tony" on the phone and my dear hubby's reply was, "right back atcha, Pop". My two favourite men lovin'-it-up on the phone ... how great is that?

Tony has such a strength and capability about him. He is self-sufficient, and likes it that way. I know that he really doesn't NEED alot of anything (he doesn't need a housekeeper, cook, launderer or secretary - ok, maybe a secretary :0) He's the kind of guy that people depend on and he's always there when we need him. He's definately a man worth celebrating! I know that I'm sure glad he was born!!! and so are our children :0)

I know I didn't get to whisk him away for an extravigant trip or buy him expensive gifts (he wouldn't want me spending that kind of money on him anyway!) but, it was, as always, a blessing to be able to share in Tony's special day and celebrate the life of one of the best guys around! Happy Birthday, my love.

Here's a blessing for you from your Heavenly Father, my love. I pray that you'll receive it well and carry it deep within your heart - for the good days of eternal perspective and if ever you become discouraged:

"O Lord, You have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my every thought when far away. You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment You know where I am. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You both precede and follow me. You place Your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to know!

I can never escape from Your Spirit! I can never get away from Your presence! If I go up to heaven, You are there; if I go down to the place of the dead, You are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there Your hand will guide me, and Your strength will support me. I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night - but even in darkness I cannot hide from You. To You the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are both alike to You.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - and how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in Your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

How precious are Your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up in the morning, You are still with me!" Psalm 139:1-18

Tag! :0)

I love surveys too! Here goes ...

Aprons - Y/N? I do own one - unfortunately, I received it from an old boyfriend (the relationship was VERY short lived after that gift! I keep it around to remind me how blessed I am that God chose Tony for me :0)
Baking - Favorite thing to bake? Chocolate Cake (or Chocolate Cupcakes) with Chocolate Icing
Clothesline - Y/N? No - but I do like them ... we used to have one outside our old townhouse (before they converted them into condos) ... it was great 'visiting' time with the moms in the backyard :0)
Donuts - Ever made them? No. But Naomi's mom makes amazing home made donuts! Yum!
Everyday - One homemaking thing you do everyday? Make my bed - I like to get into a made bed.
Freezer - Do you have a separate deep freezer? Yes (it also acts as a folding table for our washer and dryer :0)
Garbage Disposal - Y/N? Nope!
Handbook - Y/N? Not really - try FLYLady too ... it takes me a REALLY long time to adopt routines ... oh well!
Ironing - Love it or hate it? Don't tell Tony, but I used to LOVE ironing my father's work shirts when I was a teenager ... I think we have an iron somewhere in this house ???
Junk Drawer - Where is it? I have a 'junk office' at the moment ... sigh ... other than that, I have little piles of things to put away (FLYLady would be so disappointed :0)
Kitchen - Design and decorating? Just try to keep the counters and table clear!
Love - What is your favorite part of homemaking? Hanging homemade 'whatevers' around that the kids make ... I also like making Sunday suppers and my typical 'healthy' food meals - I like anything heavy and whole grain and separating my meals into veggie/starch/protein portions (it's weird, I know ... but I think it's fun to fill in the 'puzzle' and mix-and-match suppers!). I like to decorate and find special ornaments or artwork for each room (I DON'T like cleaning ... would love a live-in housekeeper! :0)
Mop - Y/N? Ok, this survey is depressing me ... we do have a mop in our basement - but ... it might still have the tag from the store on it ... I'm more of a 'spot' wash cleaner ...
Nylons - I hate them too!!! Tights or pants, please! (I enjoy Katherine Hepburn's style of dress :0)
Oven - Do you use the window or open it to check? Both. Usually to see what Tony's cooking :0)
Pizza - What do you put on yours? I don't usually do homemade - I like all kinds of pizza, though. There's the classic hawaiin - a hit at our house. I like BBQ Chicken Pizza, flatbread pizzas, veggie deluxe pizzas ... Don't care to much for all meat, though - that's Tony's fav.
Quiet - What do you do during the day when you get a quiet moment? Blog, blog, blog (I have three going now :0) I also like to READ in my reading-chair with some quiet, classical music on. Aah ... it's a good life, yes?
Recipe card box - Y/N? Nope. I used to do much more of this stuff when Tony and I were first married and the kids were younger and I was at home more. Now it's back and forth from school, lessons and teaching. I have a very nostalgic pull towards any recipes I've received from my mom in her handwriting (or my grandmothers) ... those are treasures to me. I've also had some really nice recipe books given to me as gifts - I really like those. I like old-fashioned recipes (one of Tony and I's favourite recipe books is the Albert 75 years anniversay cookbook that the graduating class of 80-something put out years ago ... it's full of family recipes from the ladies of the town where I grew up)
Style of house - My favourite is an 'A' Frame timber-house (but it would be nice if it was on 'some' acres of land with a view :0) Typically, Tony and I end up in our 2-story reliable. I like open concepts and lots of windows (I lie in bed in the morning and look out our second story window with our cats ... across the farmer's field and think about the day ahead ... it's nice)
Tablecloths and napkins - Y/N? Yes, yes, yes - always! Comes from my mother. Cloth or paper - doesn't matter. When I was in school, my mother would send my brown-bag lunch with a napkin in it (and I always used it!) :0)
Under the kitchen sink - Enough grossness for those two English ladies from "How clean is your house" to create an episode around ... ug! Actually, it's mostly garbage container, a basket of cleaning supplies under a mountain of plastic grocery bags.
Vacuum - How many times a week? Oh that's just a nasty question!!! Usually twice at least (but the stairs always get missed ... I do THINK of it often, however - in my own defence :0)
Wash - How many loads do you do a week? Do I have to finish this survey? Did I say I love surveys?!?! I found one I don't love ... one on cleaning - yuck! I don't do laundry - yes - I said I don't do laundry ... Tony does all the laundry (I do fold and put away when he gives it to me, though ... does that sound better? :0)
X’s - Do you keep a list of things to do and cross them off? Yes, yes, yes - it usually includes "don't forget students coming at such-and-such-a-time, you must leave the house at 2:50 in order to pick kids up at 3:15, did you take your medication today? get groceries at such-and-such-a-time" ... very detailed - having ADHD, I couldn't survive (nor would my dear family) without my lists. (Just ask Tony what happens when I come to a 4-way stop ... it's scary!)
Yard - Who does what? Now this I enjoy! Yes, indeed! I could work in the yard all day. I love to fuss with flowers and landscaping, etc. Even shovelling is fun. We both take part but Tony mostly mows the lawn (we borrow his parents and then he does both yards ... and sometimes even our neighbours too!) I just love any excuse to be outside!
ZZZ’s - What is your last homemaking task for the day? Checking all the windows and doors - pulling blinds down and checking on the kids.

OK - I tag my cuzn' Jenn!

Some thoughts on love

As Valentine's Day is fast approaching (it's tomorrow, boys! :0), I thought I would write down some thoughts on the subject of love. Did you know that legend has it that Valentine was a priest who served during third century Rome. There was an Emperor at that time by the name of Claudius II. Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those that were married. With this thought in mind he outlawed marriage for young men in hopes of building a stronger military base. Supposedly, Valentine, decided this decree just wasn't fair and chose to marry young couples secretly. When Emperor Claudius II found out about Valentine's actions he had him put to death. Another legend has it that Valentine was an imprisoned man who fell in love with his jailor's daughter. Before he was put to death he sent the first 'valentine' himself when he wrote her a letter and signed it 'Your Valentine', words still used on cards today.

Perhaps we'll never know the true identity and story behind the man named St. Valentine, but this much is for sure...February has been the month to celebrate love for a long time, dating clear back to the Middle Ages. In fact, Valentines ranks second only to Christmas in number of greeting cards sent.

Our New Living Translation Bible offers these thoughts on "True Love": it reads in a caption, "Our society often confuses love and lust. Unlike lust, love is directed outward toward others, not inward toward ourselves. It is utterly unselfish. This kind of love goes against our natural inclinations. It is impossible to have this love unless God helps us set aside our own natural desires so that we can love and not expect anything in return. Thus, the more we become like Christ, the more love we will show to others."

I really believe that if you change your thinking, your behaviour will follow. When we fill our minds with pure and noble thoughts - when we take captive every thought and submit ourselves to the power of the Holy Spirit - 'right' thinking prevails ... and our behaviours show the "fruit" of the Holy Spirit. God has truly given us an amazing gift when he designed our ability to choose. Our thinking capacity is like no other creature on this earth. When I was 14, I read a book entitled, "The Origin of Consciousness and the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind" (a little light reading before bed :0) It challenged my thinking and caused me to question things like, "Does our dog think about going to eat her food, or is she merely reacting to a physical need? Is she choosing to get up and walk over to her dish and eat - or is it a natural response to an inner sensation of hunger?"

If you think about this concept in Biblical terms (which I always like to do), then what separates man and woman from all the other creatures in this world, is our ability to reason through our choices. Personally, I think I behaved more like my beloved cocker spaniel before my eyes were opened to a new reality lived through the life of Christ. I was just meandering around my life reacting to physical needs and inner sensations instead of rejoicing at the gift of choice and and my ability to think - and was definately not spending time meditating on anything useful. I aged and developed more sophisticated tastes to meet my needs - but it was all the same.

So, what does all of this have to do with LOVE? You know what's coming, don't you? LOVE is a choice ... we may fall in love quite easily - giving our heart away at the slightest whim - open to experiencing new and exciting sensations ... yet, what happens when the sensation wears out or the physical need has been met? We're left standing at our empty dog dish - staring into an oblivion of unconsciousness (or maybe, shall I say "un-conscience-ness" :0) That being said, let's meditate on what the Apostle Paul said love is - I come back to this passage often ... I have very strong natural tendencies that I must take captive and allow God to change my thinking :0) He IS love, afterall ...

"If I could speak in any language in heaven or on earth, but didn't love others, I would only be making meaningless noise like a loud gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I knew all the mysteries of the future and knew everything about everything, but didn't love others, what good would I be? And if I had the gift of faith so that I could speak to a mountain and make it move, without love I would be no good to anybody. If I have everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn't love others, I would be of no value whatsoever.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Love will last forever, but prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will all disappear. Now we know only a little, and even the gift of prophecy reveals little! But when the end comes, these special gifts will all disappear.

It's like this: When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child does. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now.

There are three things that will endure - faith, hope and love - and the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:1-13, NLT

I hope everyone has a blessed Valentine's Day! And maybe, for a moment during your day, stop and meditate on the most perfect love - the love of the One who lived and died for us all - our friend and Saviour, Jesus ... maybe that thought will change us just a little bit for the better, yes?

Stay the course ...

Jesus calms the storm ... "Then Jesus got into the boat and started across the lake with His disciples. Suddenly, a terrible storm came up, with waves breaking into the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went to Him and woke Him up, shouting, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!"

And Jesus answered, "Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!" Then He stood up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly all was calm. The disciples just sat there in awe. "Who is this?" they asked themselves. "Even the wind and waves obey Him!"

God has taught me lessons of humility, patience, compassion, endurance, courage, wisdom and faithfulness many, many, many times - mostly through my children. And in these lessons He is growing these qualities within me, little by little. I never knew what a challenge it would be to become a mother. And although there have been numerous times that I have felt tossed by the waves of discontent, disbelief, division or discouragement, by His grace I stay the course and am saved - awestruck :0)

It is easy for me to feel like I'm in the midst of some chaotic, confused jumble of mixed-up 'storm' of emotions and circumstances. In the past, I thought I was the only person who felt this way - that everyone else "had it together" but me. I have learned that this is not the case; we parents share the common bond of self-doubt and wonder if our choices are the right ones for our kids. Yet, when I sit down and really think who Jesus IS and about all that God has done with and for my family over the years, I remember the peace that is deep within and respond with thankfulness - I FEEL His peace - I KNOW His grace and I can continue to live this life (even parenting) gratefully.

So ... I thought I would try to make a 'short' list of what I'm thankful for ...

I am thankful for a warm home and a loving husband who works diligently and faithfully everyday in order to provide for his family. I'm thankful that God has revealed His calling on Tony and I's lives and that we are free to dream, imagine and pursue our passions with His blessing. I'm thankful for three beautiful, vibrant, healthy and passionate children. I'm thankful that no matter how often I worry about my kids, God gently calls me back to that place of peace where I know that He has a good and prosperous plan for each and every child He calls His own. I'm thankful that my children are forgiving and also sincere in their repentance. I'm thankful that my children know the Lord Jesus as their own Saviour and friend and that we can seek Him as a family and pray through our trials and praise Him for His faithfulness. I'm thankful for my parents who have always held high hopes for their daughters, their daughters' husbands and all of their grandchildren (and now their grandchildren's partners :0). I'm thankful that they did the best they could for me and my sisters and are still together after 45 years. I'm thankful that they still enjoy a good adventure (even in their 60's! :0) I'm thankful for my sisters. I'm thankful that they are strong, independent and beautiful women who accept life's challenges. I'm thankful for loving and supportive friends who accept me just the way I am yet still encourage my spiritual growth with grace and yes, sometimes, forgiveness. I'm thankful that I finally realize that there are people (within my family and without) who actually think I'm MORE than ok and sincerely love me. I'm thankful that I can receive love and give it too. I'm thankful that God has brought us to a new place on our journey to learn and grow. I'm thankful that we can gather together to worship Him and proclaim His Name without fear of persecution. I'm thankful that when I look around my church, I see diversity and uniqueness without judgement or conformist-attitudes. I'm thankful for Tony's parents and the way they surprise our family with little gifts and necessities. I'm thankful for my health and the restoring of it after a time of illness. I'm thankful that while I was weak in my sickness, God never left my side - He saw me through it, brought healing and taught me patience and fearless abandon of what I tend to believe is MINE (even my health) - It's ALL His.

I'm thankful MOST OF ALL that I can be thankful - for it's ONLY by His grace that I can face each and everday with a heart full of praise and know the One who saved me.

"Keep on asking, and you will be given what you ask for. Keep on looking and you will find. Keep on knocking and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And the door is opened to everyone who knock. You parents - if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask Him." Matthew 7:7-11

Helllo, helllloo, hellllllloooooooo

Greetings and good evening! I don't know if you've ever seen Limoney Snicket's, "A Series of Unfortunate Events" (the kids have been reading the series for quite some time), but on the movie, Jim Carrey plays Count Olaf (the villian) and does an AMAZING job at it. At one point in the movie he enters the seen (a silhouette, floating on a boat, coming menacingly nearer and nearer) and he says, in his dastardly way, "helllo, hellllo, hellllooo". It's great stuff! Anyway, I've been saying that line for days and driving everyone crazy!

Anyway, it's been another fun-filled week at our house. Still on the antiobiotic 'goodies' - still having the same symptoms (one month and counting :0( Yuck!) Oh well! Things ARE getting better; slowly but surely. The acidophollus I'm taking is helping somewhat and I'm trying to stay away from spicy food too. One of the worst things is not being able to take my ADHD medication. There is some kind of chaotic mess goin' on in my brain - let me tell you!!! It ain't pretty!!! Life without stimulants (no coffee, no meds, no 'Friday night glass of red wine'). It's just raw and real around here these days! :0) God is patient and forgiving and Tony is an amazing guy - enough said ...

Maria had two birthday dinners this week (a family affair at Montana's - she HAD to wear the hat with the horns!) and her party with some friends at our house and skating at the Olympic Oval. My camera is on the fritz, so photos are "niente" at the moment. I think a good time was had by all (the CUPCAKES were a hit!) Yet, due to the inability to succesfully organize the gathering of 6 year olds, I felt as though Saturday's event was lacking in the "flow" department a little ... No one else seemed to get the sense that I felt the party was completely out of control (and the 6 to 9 year olds definately didn't mind :0) but next time, I think we'll NOT drive to another quadrent of the city to skate for 30 minutes :0)

I've also managed to complete my three case studies as part of my dissertation for the next exam for teaching (don't laugh too loud - but the hardest part was trying to keep my words down to 3500: I think I'm 400 over ... yikes!) I also finished my outline for the essay portion. I'm meeting with my teacher tomorrow for some guidance and direction and a list of new resources! :0) Let the games begin!! Deadline for Dissertation (3 part: case studies, essay and musical analysis), video of teaching and entry-fee = March 9th ...

Oh ya! And we bailed our lab, Rosie out of jail AGAIN today!!! This time they didn't let us off with a warning (I got a slightly serious tongue-lashing from the two by-law officers and a $100 ticket plus $38 'impound fee'. Broooother!!!) I'm just glad Tony had already left for work ... I think I displayed a rather impressive amount of self-control, if I do say so myself (I won't tell you what dialogue was playing in my head :0)

To top it all off, our neighbour with whom we have an unspoken 'arrangement' of parking (as far as he's concerned) popped over to inquire why I was parked so far back from our house during supper ... how neighbourly of him! :0) After I (hopefully) graciously explained that it was because Tony had been parked in front of me and had already left for work, I let him know that I would move my jeep up AFTER we finished our meal (smile, smile, smile) ... which I did. Scoreboard of the day: God's grace = 1 000 000 000 x infinity, my own strength = 0

It definately has been one of THOSE days ... I chuckle at how comically it sounds when I lay it all out like this. I'm glad God has given me the ability to laugh at myself once in awhile. Sometimes these little 'hic-ups' can get a person down, but there are bigger and better things to turn our thoughts to than the everyday ups-and downs of life.

Be blessed and good night, all! Thanks for checkin' out the blog ... hope you like the newest addition (music to read by :0) ... be back soon!

For Maria

Ever since I started blogging special entries for the kids, Maria has been asking, "When do I get mine?!" She isn't the subtle one in the family :0) I told her she would have to wait until her birthday. So, as this blessed event is nearing, here is my tribute to our beautiful Maria.

From the moment we discovered your conception, you have filled us with joy, Maria. You were a precious surprise to us (as all our children were) and we have rejoiced in the blessing of your life for 6 years (and 9 months :0)

While I was pregnant, we decided to have a home birth (after two car rides during labour, I had had enough of that!) So, we bought a giant 'blow-up' pool and waited for your arrival. We had to keep it ready, so every night before bed, I would roll the giant pool down the stairs into the living room - hoping that 'this might be the night'. Alas, for two weeks, every morning, I had to roll the giant pool back up the stairs! :0) You were getting pretty big and heavy in there for Mommy to be carrying you around all the time and I was ready to see your beautiful face!

On a chilly January evening, right after we had tucked your brother and sister into bed, I went into labour. Your timing was perfect and the evening was so peaceful. Your father and I walked back and forth in front of our old townhouse for a little while (I was in my favourite, thick, grey sweater - a gift from your Dad - and the only warm covering that would fit by then :0) After awhile, I needed to come into the house and call the midwives. While they were on their way, your Dad and I put on some relaxing music and slow-danced together during the contractions that slowly brought you closer to your very first birthday.

We were so calm, that by the time the midwives arrived, they didn't believe that I was as far along as I had said. Oh well! Believe it or not, you were on the way. We called Auntie Naomi to come and help and started filling up the "fishy pool" (no wonder you love to swim so much!) After a short time in the wonderful, warm water (and some fun photos in between contractions), you came to join your family.

You had thick, black hair and a squishy little face and hands that were all tightened up into little fists. Your Dad and I grinned from ear to ear - and we laughed and cried and rejoiced. Our Maria had arrived and our hearts would never be the same. Aunti Naomi prayed a beautiful blessing over you and we all went to bed in peace.

Tonight, we made chocolate cupcakes for you to take to school tomorrow and enjoy with your classmates. How can I express to you how proud of you we are? You are growing into a fine, young lady and we love to hear how everyone enjoys your company so much. You are a treasure, Maria. You are one of the few people on this earth that can turn your Dad's frown upside down, sweetheart. You are blessed with the gift of giving - you give of yourself and God uses you to bless others with joy, peace and love. We love to hear your precious voice as you sing out with passion and conviction. You have a very sensitive spirit and feel every emotion so deeply that anyone around can share in the moment. You are an intelligent, funny, beautiful, generous and talented person and we are so glad God wanted you to be our daughter.

So, on the joyful occasion of your birthday, let me share with you one of my favourite blessings from the Bible and may it be a comfort to you as you continue to grow into the wonderful woman God has planned you to be:

"The Lord bless thee, and keep thee:

The Lord make His face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:

The Lord lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace."

Numbers 6:24-26

You are loved, Maria. Happy Birthday!

Love, Mom, Dad, Louis and Regina

Sunday Afterrnoon Blogging

Greetings, my long-neglected blogging friends. Please forgive me for my lengthy absence. I've been battling "side effects" from anti-biotics and trying to maintain some semblence of routine and order around my home (including a Group Lesson this past Saturday a.m. for 9 students and a small effort towards organizing my studies to prepare for an upcoming teacher's exam!).

So, here I am once again. I just finished my "Christmas gift" book - Margaret Laurence, 'A Bird in the House'. In typical "Steph" fashion ... I got to the end and scratched my head, "What was that all about?!" Then, as I turned the book over to read the back cover, everything slowly came into focus. It read, 'these 8 short stories ...' I thought I'd been reading a novel that made absolutely NO sense. Phew! Relief . . . I'll have to read that one again another time :0) What I did read, however, allowed me to share a connection with the author that confirmed my belief that we are not very different from each other on this earth - not really at all. (Another confirmation came after watching my favourite re-runs of 'Long Way Round', Outdoor Life Network with Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boorman ... love it!) Anyway ...

So, I went back to my old-faithful read ... Thomas Merton, "The Seven Story Mountain, An Autobiography of Faith". A very interesting gentleman who joined the Trappist monastery in the 1940's. A great quote of his says, "Without a life of the spirit our whole existence becomes unsubstantial and illusory." I've been trying to get through this book for almost 2 years. It just doesn't flow for me like others. I tend to read a few pages and then I need to ponder and think ALOT about what I just read. The back cover reads (yes, I read it first!) "(an) autobiography of a man who withdrew from the world only after he had fully immersed himself in it." I relate to him. On the occasion of this most recent read, the statement that stood out to me the most was, "...it is impossible for people to learn to write unless they also read." And with that, I moved on to my newest read ...

It's an extremely difficult book to read (emotionally, spiritually and visually). It is titled, "The Other Side of Ward; Women's Stories of Survival and Hope", by Zainab Salbi (President and Co-Founder of Women for Women International). She says, "War is not a computer-generated missile striking a digital map. War is the color of earth as it explodes in our faces, the sound of your child pleading, the smell of smok and fear. Women survivors of war are not the single image portrayed on the television screen, but the glue that holds families and countries together. Perhaps by understanding women, and the other side of war ... we will have more humility in our discussions of wars ... perhaps it is time to listen to women's side of history." A little over a week ago, I was out for lunch with my friend, Jenn. As we wondered around Chapters after some wonderful Vietnamese, I stumbled across this fascinating title.

It brought back a memory of learning about a small group of women from the United States (a group of older ladies from a small church), who began to sew quilts for families in Vietnam. They sewed hundreds of these blankets and then flew themselves over to Vietnam and met with a group of mothers with their children on an old, riquety bridge in the middle of a jungle. There is a very famous photo of this event and it is said to have been pivotal to the ending of that war.

Please understand that my next statement is generalist in perspective (something I try very hard to avoid). Nevertheless, at times, a broader perspective can become strikingly clear. In many cases (again, not all cases) but, many cases, men tend to focus on the differences between each other, between people and nations. Perhaps it's gender, perhaps its personality, perhaps both and many other factors. Generally speaking (generally), women tend to focus on things we have in common - we RELATE to each other and people's circumstances, etc. We try to empathize (not all but in general). It is not just interesting, but fiercely important, that men and women (in general) tend to have different strengths and weaknesses.

My husband has recently began a working relationship with a woman. At first, this raised some serious (and not necessarily mature) issues in my mind ... and in our conversations :0) Yet, now that I have had a chance to rationally think through my own fears and concerns (and vent to my nearest and dearest girlfriends :0), I am able to listen to Tony speak of the challenges she faces on a daily basis at work. I am astounded at the reactions of some of the men to her presence (regardless of her ability, strengths, experience and professionalism). It makes no difference whether he agrees with her position or not - because of his integrity and an amazing sensitivity to the female mind, Tony is able to fulfill the calling on his life and recognize the abilities in her that are beyond his own (like relating to certain individuals that he would rather not). There are things to be learned from each other. I have learned to appreciate and respect my husband for who he is in ways that I have never known before. Bravo, hubby, bravo! You are my champion :0) I believe, he has learned to recognize when I am seriously not in a joking mood :0)

Let me leave you with one last quote ... one that either confuses or comforts (or maybe both?)

"And God said, 'Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them." Genesis 1:26-27 KJV

Playing Around with Photos :0)

Reaction vs. Response

Last night, we had a parent meeting at our children's school. The purpose of the meeting was to receive further information regarding a financial situation that has arisen due to the planned sale of the land our school is on. In order to grow, move forward and become increasingly established, our school has decided to enter into an agreement to purchase the land and facility. These are all good things. However, the responsibility of the parents is to provide a serious portion of the down payment for the purchase of this land. Without getting into further detail, there were some parents, who, understandably, were deeply concerned about the affordability of this project. Tony and I were two of them.

Let me say that 5 years ago (maybe even 2 years ago ...) Tony and I would have reacted with negativity, bitterness, jealousy and judgement to the dismal outlook of being able to afford what was being asked of us. It is a wonderful encouragement when you can look back on the person you used to be and praise the Lord for the way He has softened and changed our hearts - for the way He has created spiritual fruit in Your life that wasn't there before.

There were some parents last night who did react in fear - and I felt sympathetic to them. Yet, because Tony and I had not chosen to just react to the circumstance we were facing, but spent the Christmas holidays praying and seeking God, when the time came, we had such a peace about the whole situation we were actually surprised. God is faithful and as we sought His direction and guidance, His will became clear.

First, we spent time seeking his will. We questioned whether or not the Lord wanted our children at this particular school. It is a Christian school and we are thankful that our children are being fed with God's Word everyday, but we honestly let go of thinking that this was the only option available to us. Maybe God wanted us to place our children in a Spanish emersion school? Who knows? He does ... After discussing options, Tony and I each retreated into our own thoughts and spent days seeking God in our own way about His will. When the subject came up again, it was affirmed. Neither of us WANTED our children anywhere else. Our desires were steadfast and we were in agreement. Now what?

The next step was to see if what we desired was in line with God's will. We considered the financial provision for our family to be an answer and if that were to work out, it would be the confirmation of God's plan. In it all, we truly let the results be in God's hands. God has moved us before (recently, actually :0) from our home church and from our home neighbourhood - we have experienced change in huge ways and learned a lot about the process and the way that God can and does work out the details. We have learned, in very small ways, to trust God everyday. It's these moments that build the foundation of our faith so that when we are faced with a seemingly big circumstance, we can remember our trustworthy Lord and remain immovable in our faith.

God has confirmed our desires. Our finances HAVE worked out. There was some re-thinking about priorities and perspectives (yes, we can survive with an unfinished basement for a little while longer :0) and best of all we have a great peace in knowing that God's will is being fulfilled in our lives and the lives of our children. We are excited to see what is to come ...

I awoke this morning with optimism and thankfulness and sought the Lord early. The children and I prayed on the way to school and thanked God for His mercy and His grace and looked forward to the beginning of a new day and sung a song of rejoicing while we enjoyed the beautiful sky and majestic mountains. God whispered to my heart, "Are you reacting or are you responding?" I immediately thought of my friend Dawn and rejoiced again at how she had responded to the Lord in faith during a recent trial. I called her to share with her what God had been up to with me and the children this morning and we began our day with a smile and a light heart. Later, I remembered a quote from my father (not sure if it's an original or on loan ...) It reads, "Do not react, but rather, observe and respond in time." I found that a profound thought and it helped me to focus my attention on my own behaviours; questioning my perspectives during times of trial. I would like to expand this line of thinking with my own faith-based perspective ... "Do not react to the 'whats' of life but rather, learn to trust and respond TO the Lord". Hmmmm ... carying on ....

I was in a rather playful mood this morning and decided to phone my friend Terry to see if I could catch her sleeping and wake her up. (It's one of my favourite things to do! I never realized how much fun it is!)

I didn't get quite the response I had thought - Terry had already tried to call me at home as she and her husband had been up most of the night concerned and praying for a friend from church who had been admitted to the hospital with flesh eating disease. It had been a sudden and serious condition that shocked not only his wife and daughters, but the entire church family. He is still in hospital and we are all waiting to hear good news in hope and faith.

After experiencing such an elation and joyfulness in my heart for the way God has moved me to respond to Him in faith, receiving the life or death news of a cherished member of the church family left me shaking my head. And yet, it also seemed obvious what I needed to do - even though, in this circumstance, the temptation to react with fear was overwhelming simple. Fear is not even unexpected ... this was and is a seriously critical medical situation that has, by precedent, led to a commonly pessimistic prognosis. Nevertheless, I did not give attention to any feeling of feer our doubt on this day. In a moment of faith, I did not consider nor question God's intentions - I only prayed and let go.

What came to my mind was the story of Lazarus and how his sister had cried out to Jesus when she met him on the path, coming to her house. "If You had only been here," she said, "my brother would still be alive." What did Jesus do? Did he rebuke her as he did the Pharisees? Did he become angry as he did with the merchants at the temple? No. He wept.

He had compassion for the family and he wept. It was then that He called Lazarus from the tomb. It was this passage of scripture that I prayed today for this kind and generous husband, father and brother in faith to so many.

Would you pray with me? Would you respond, in faith, to a call to share in this family's trial by praying with them in the Name of Jesus?

Father, we come boldy to Your throne of grace. We share in this family's crisis and together respond with faith and hope. We believe that You are able to do as you did with Lazarus. You, who are our "strength and shield", You who are "faithful to all Your promises and loving to all You have made," we trust in You, O God. Lord, until you so choose to bring this man to Your heavenly dwelling, we pray with steadfast hearts that You would allow this man, who has given his life in devotion and worship to You - lovingly and cheerfully, to be healed completely and rejoice in Your mercy. We ask it in the Name of our Saviour, our Healer, our Redeemer and friend, Jesus the Christ.

"I will exalt You, O Lord, for You lifted me out of the depths, and did not let my enemies gloat over me. O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me. O Lord, You brought me up from the grave; You spared me from going down into the pit. Sing to the Lord, you saints of His; praise His holy name. For His anger lasts only a moment, but His favour lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. When I felt secure, I said, 'I will never be shaken'. O Lord, when You favoured me, you made my mountain stand firm; but when You hid Your face, I was dismayed. To You, O Lord, I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy: 'What gain is there in my destruction, in my going down into the pit? Will the dust praise You? Will it proclaim Your faithfulness? Hear O Lord, and be merciful to me; O Lord be my help.' You turned my wailing into dancing; You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give You thanks forever." Psalm 30

Come what may, our Father, we pray, Your gracious, merciful and perfect will be done. We stand together, as One Body, One Blood, One Church, In Jesus' Name - on behalf of our brother in his time of need and bring him boldy to Your throne, that you may restore full health and that he may continue to serve you and proclaim Your greatness, even unto the ends of the earth - for the furthering of Your kingdom, according to Your desire, according to Your plan. Lord, hear our prayer, Amen.

"Rosie-Cheek" Weather!

Yikes! Is it ever cold out there! It's rather deceiving because the sun was shining so beautifully today ... but as soon as you step outside - that cold air bites at your cheeks! Ouch!

Well, we're back into the swing of things once again. School has begun again and violin and piano lessons are back on track.

I had an interesting conversation with my father yesterday evening. I am hoping to achieve my Licentiate (not licentious, right Terry?) level in music for teaching. However, I have come upon a road block. It seems, a pre-requisite to this level is Grade 8 Theory (under the London College of Music which is in the UK). I considered doing an Associate level Performance exam instead to try and get around this theory issue (I REALLY dispise theory :0) but alas ... it seems as though one of the components to the Associate Performance level is also a heavy-bit of theory. Ugh!

So, as I was explaining this to my father he said, "So what?! Theory is what it's all about! You should do the theory!" Although my mother was substantially more sympathetic to my whining (she has a musical understanding of the "ugh" of theory :0), my father's words hit a nerve.

"What are you talking about?", I exclaimed, "Theory is just TALKING about music instead of MAKING music! What came first the chicken or the egg?!", I asked. "Music was around long before anyone wrote it down and started analysing it!" But there it was ... the question of our humanity ... My father just laughed and said, "You should do the theory."

I came face-to-face with my own procrastination and unwillingness. I love to create a deep and philasophical argument about almost anything at all, rather than deal with the issue that is staring right at me! It seems, if I'm going to carry on with my studies, I must complete my theory.

Isn't this what we do with our relationships and especially with our relationships with the Lord? We say, "Ok - I'll forgive him/her for this ... but THAT .... THAT I won't forgive" or "Ok, Lord, I'll trust you in this area of my life ... but don't even go THERE!" Either we do or we don't - either we will or we won't. Yet, as black and white and simplified as that seems - the process of transformation is quite different.

As I sat in the doctor's office on Monday (for the second time since I became ill) I bowed my head and breathed a silent prayer while I was waiting. An overwhelming sense of peace came over me and I heard myself praying in my mind, "My health is yours, Lord - my health is yours - come what may." I feel much better and I'm on the mend but more than that - I feel at peace deep within in a way that can not be described.

It takes time to realize that once we come to know that GRACE and MERCY have been given freely to us, we only have to receive. There's nothing else to it. Our transformation comes from the understanding of who the Lord is and how He loves us. Everyday, that knowledge can change, if we let it - if we meditate on it - if we receive it.

I watched an interview on 100 Huntley Street yesterday morning with Phil Vischer (is it Phil? I think so ...) Anyway, he's the guy who created "Veggie Tales" (the reason we can associate so many "classic" songs with Bible Scripture - for example, 'The Bunny' or 'My Name is Daniel...' :0) Anyway, he said, 'until we realize we can just exist WITH God, what we do FOR God is just out of our own ideas and strength' (kind of paraphrased). It was an awesome interview and you could tell he was a man that had been humbled and been through a few things and come out the other side ... WITH God.

So, back to my theory ... I guess I will spend some time in prayer and ask God if this is the direction I am to go ... and if it is -I'll pray that He makes me willing and grants me the grace, strength and wisdom I need to complete the task, for His glory alone. Pray with me? Thanks!

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4 4:4-7

For Regina

I have been unbelievably ill the last two and a 1/2 days. I've had horrendous chills, fever, muscle & joint aches that were, at times, almost unbearable. Then, a day into my own illness, Regina became ill, AGAIN, with the stomach flu. It has been a wicked flu season - and we've been hit something awful. It looks like we're going to make it and I finally feel well enough to sit up and type a few cohesive (hopefully) words ... although, I have been mixing up my thoughts in recent dialogue with my children :0) For example, "Regina, put that dog in the fridge." WHAT?! or "Louis, call your teeth." WHAT?! Anyhow, this probably isn't really that far from the norm :0)

So, with thanks for prayers and the precious care from family and friends (and some pretty blue antibiotic pills for me!) - we are on the mend. God is good and has seen us through.

I've just put Regina down for a good night's rest. She was a little upset this evening. You see, her sister has gone to spend the night at Mita and Pito's (upon her request) and her brother has gone for a sleep over at his friend Stephen's house. Tony is working - so that left just the two of us! Things went alright for awhile ... we watched Limmony Snicket's "A Series of Unfortunate Events" (a favourite for both of us) ... ate dried croutons with apple juice and followed up with a dose of "Just for Laughs" - the Gags reel. (I'm going to have to explain myself to Tony for that one in the morning - something about a fake peeing baby ... oh well - I was just glad that Regina had perked up and we were able to share a laugh) BTW ... right about now I know my mother is thinking, "Yup, she's definately feeling better ... the words are flowing again!" :0) Luv you, Mom.

Anyway, bedtime came around, too soon, as far as Regina was concerned. But, be that as it may - the inevitable is just that. After a rather thorough teeth brushing and a loooong good-night to each of our animals, Regina got herself into bed and waited for me to come tuck her in. As I climbed the stairs to her room (resting on every third stair to catch my breath and try to stop my head from pounding with the increasing elevation :0), a fond memory came to mind. I remembered when Regina was just a baby. I would get up 2 or 3 times in the night to feed her in her little nursery. I would hold her in my arms and sit in the rocking chair, in the dark and sing to her, quietly. It was an amazing moment for just the two of us. (She wasn't old enough to criticize my singing abilities or my need for a breath mint yet :0) But, seriously ... those moments are really precious for me and tonight as I knelt beside her bed, I reminded her again of how I used to sing her to sleep when she was still small enough to fit in the crook of my elbow. (She's heard the story alot - but still loves it!)

When Louis was born, our entire world changed. There is no other event I have experienced that changed my life like the birth of our firstborn child. He was and is a miracle to me. And then came Regina.

She was the easiest baby I could have imagined. She was always so content - no matter what the circumstances. We were in the midst of buying our first home one month after she was born and then we hurridly tried to finish a basement on top of it all! It was utter chaos for the first couple months of her life - yet she peacefully watched all the action with those big brown - wait - HUGE brown eyes staring out at us from her comfy little spot in the second hand car seat (thanks to Auntie Shar and Uncle Mark). I had to set a timer to feed her because we were so busy and she would never cry! After the work was all done and things started to settle - I found myself carrying her around all day long. I just loved to hold her and be near her and watch her beautiful face. I would stir soup for Lou while I held (and fed) Regina with my other arm. That was quite a trick! She was a comfort to me then - and she still is. She has been a comfort to many others as well.

When my sister, Shelley, had her gall bladder out, Regina was visiting Nonna and Pop. She held her hand and stayed by her side (I think Regina was 5? at the time). She tucks my dad into bed before for his sleep before he heads out for another shift in his big coal truck when she is there. She makes lunch, washes dishes, sweeps, dusts and has always cheerfully given her opinion on parenting tips for me! :0) And when my mother's very good friend died in November of this past year, Regina was there. She stayed with my mom for hours at the hospital and held her hand and prayed for Margaret - and she didn't want to be anywhere else.

Regina says she wants to be a doctor someday. This Christmas, Tony and I bought her an "Anatomy Torso" with a stethoscope and game cards. My nephew Taylor and I tried to answer some of the questions on the game ... it was a little tricky with Regina pronouncing the rather long words :0) We managed to get about a 1/4 of the answers between the two of us. Ah well ... I hope that if this is the plan God has for Regina's life, that He blesses her greatly with courage, ability, determination, perseverance and much grace to accomplish her goals and see her dreams fulfilled.

Regina, you are a blessing - you are a gift ... and I am so thankful for you, my sweet baby girl. Here's your song, babe. Enjoy :0)

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim

In the light of His glory ance grace

Regina, I love you

Regina, I love you

Regina, I love you, my dear

Love, Mom

Happy New Year!

Greetings and a very happy new year to you all! I hope that the Christmas holidays were filled with wonderful memories and blessings beyond number. This is a photo of our "First Annual Christmas Day Pyjama Skate!" A quick recap of the last few weeks for us ...

Our kids started getting sick around December 10th ... we're still having a go 'round with the flu (Maria has finally had her turn with the stomach flu as of early this morning and Louis has just received the 'ok' to move onto normal food - minus dairy). Lord willing, this virus will be kicked by the time the kids go to school :0)

This is a photo of the girls at Auntie Shar and Uncle Mark's. With the big flakes of snow falling and the street lamp on their back deck, it was a perfect "Narnia" playland :0)

Christmas has come and gone, once again. Number 11 for Tony and I! They seem to come and go faster every year. We just got home a day and a 1/2 ago from visiting my family over the past week. I always have "mountain sickness" when I get back to the city. I miss the simplicity of small-town living and the beauty of being nestled in the mountains. Ah well ... sigh ... back to the hustle and bustle of city-living. It reminds me of how glad I am that Tony and I make it a priority in our lives to focus on the day-to-day routines and not get too busy with all the 'extras' that can try to crowd into our family life. I'm very thankful to be married to a man that is so devoted to his wife and children - if he's not at work, he just wants to be home with us.


This photo is at my mom and dad's place. Lou made a wonderful fire for us! The sleigh bells hanging on the mantel in the background are from an old sleigh from my father's child hood - he remember the sound they made as the horses pulled the old sleigh through the crisp snow while he and his siblings snuggled under a warm blanket and his mother and father drove the sleigh home. It is a precious memory and those sleigh bells still make a delightful sound!

Some excitement while I was down at my sister's with the kids ... Tony was in an accident (two actually ... one after the other). Everyone is ok - minor damage to the little 'jelly-bean' - just winter driving conditions and slower speeds required :0)

This is a photo at the ski hill of Regina and Maria (on the "Bunny Hill"). It was a great afternoon for them (although Gina complained of sore shoulders for the next couple of days :0)

We took the kids to see the new "Rocky" last night ... let me admit to you right now ... I actually cried at one point :0) Maria sang every time the Rocky-theme came on and we were all clapping for the end. It was a really good movie (we're a 'Rocky' family, already ... and this one was the icing on the cake for us :0) It's definately a must-see if you're a Rocky fan, like us! No swearing, no sexual-anything, no inappropriate humour ... lots of familiar 'Rocky-isms' and good ol' fashioned boxing (I noticed Tony had on his 'heavy-bag' gloves on today :0)

Well, it's very late (I'm having some blood-sugar issues and was on my way for a banana and a glass of milk when I got distracted :0) God bless and Happy New Year! Here's a Psalm to begin 2007!

"O God, you are my God;

I earnestly search for you.

My soul thirsts for you;

my whole body longs for you

in this parched and weary land
where there is no water.

I have seen You in Your sanctuary
and gazed upon You power and glory.
Your unfailing love is better to me than life itself;
how I praise You!
I will honour You as long as I live,

lifting up my hands to You in prayer.

You satisfy me more than the richest of foods.

I will praise You with songs of joy.

I lie awake thinking of You,

meditating on You through the night.

I think how much You have helped me;

I sing for joy in the shadow of Your protecting wings.

I follow close behind you;

Your strong right hand holds me securely." Psalm 63:1-8